THE COOMBE

On Tuesday morning Clare called to collect me and we headed for The Coombe, Lying In Hospital, as it once was, now it is called something like Women and Infants University Hospital. I think I prefer Lying In Hospital.
We found the day ward and checked in with the nurses station.  After checking my file details a little Indian nurse took me down to the ward and showed me my bed.  I had to change into my nightdress and dressing gown and she gave me a disposable knickers to wear. Clare left as soon as I was settled and I lay back on the bed.
I was nervous as hell.  I never had a general anaesthetic before and I had convinced myself that I would die during it or at least be left helpless in some way.  I had prayed to my angels (not Malachy, he is a Macho Angel) to look after me and I had to trust them or I would have run screaming out of the place. 
The nurse came back and went through a list of questions with me, took my blood pressure, which was up (white coat hypertension) and explained to me a little of what would happen. 
Then an anaesthetist Maeve arrived and started to fill in their questionnaire, but this had been done two weeks ago in the Anaesthetic clinic.  She went off and soon after a young doctor, whose name I will not remember because in the 4 minutes or so he was at my bed he did not look at me once. Then Dr Murphy came, she is lovely and a very warm person  she had a look at my file and off she went. The ward sister came then and perused my file and said I should be down within the hour.
There were 6 beds in the ward.  There was an old lady in the bed beside me by the window. Her two sons were with her and her daughter.  The two men were making stupid comments to her and talking on and on, one fella seemed to know it all and just droned on and on and on.  Eventually the ward sister asked them to leave.  THE DAY WARD OF THE COOMBE WOMEN AND INFANTS UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL IS NO PLACE FOR A MAN.  There was another man standing in the hall outside our ward, his wife was across the way in a private ward.  Brenda the nursing care assistant told me later that she had to hunt him out of the women's toilet twice that morning.  A pet hate of mine, men in womens places, like Marks and Spencer lingerie department trying to find a suitable bra and there is always a man somewhere hanging around the department.  I think they should be banned from such places. 
Back to The Coombe.  I lay down on the bed and had a snooze.  About an hour later a little Malaysian nurse came for me to bring me to theatre.  Needless to say the nerves were gone by now,  I just wanted to get it over with.  I was brought into a waiting room and she came back for me in a few minutes.  She took me to the operating theatre and quickly glancing around it was not at all what I expected.  The first thing I noticed was the floor was quiet wet, having just been washed I guess after the previous guest.  They got me up on the operating table, a narrow rubber strip, and put my pillow under my head.  I was not uncomfortable.  One nurse put the large cuffe on my right arm for reading my blood pressure and Maeve the anaesthetic doctor came in and tried to find a vein to put the drip in.  This was not easy, one of the nurses said I should have brought my veins with me, I said it should be on the form, How are your veins?  They asked just about everything else on it.  Over to my right hand and she was much more successful on that one.  The cuffe was changed to my left arm and an oxygen mask placed over my mouth and she asked me to breathe in, She clipped something on the intravenous drip tube and said it was going to feel cold in my arm.  I lay there and thought this is not working and stories of people undergoing surgery while not being completely unconscious came into my head. The next thing I know is someone is calling my name, Bernie, Bernie wake up and I opened my eyes.  I could not believe it was over, my legs felt like lead whatever they had done to them but I felt awake and alert and thanked God.  I was taken back to my bed and given a drink of water and had a nap.  When the drip had finished I went to the loo came back to bed and had tea and brown bread and jam.  A meal fit for a king.  The annoying son was back in to the woman beside me.  She was exhausted, and had to have oxygen when she came around.  She wanted to sleep but he just kept talking to her.  I wanted to slap him, annoying git.  Dr Murphy came around and said that all was well, there was nothing sinister in my womb and she had inserted the coil and that everything should be better for me now.  She gave me a letter for work for three days and said I would get an appointment for 6 weeks time for a check up.  Soon after I got dressed, Clare came for me and I went home.